Enclosure by Will Fraser:
Fell into a smaller frame
Ever since has been
Unable to break out of
Use this poem as a stimulus to write a creative, persuasive or discursive speech that focuses on feelings of disorientation.
In your response, draw upon ideas and concerns that have been explored in ONE or more of your prescribed texts. (20 marks)
Mod C: Discursive
A feeling of disorder is subjectively defined as the lack of control, purpose and direction in an individual’s life. This is caused by social conformity and social conventions, the devils of disorienting individuals and societies. These may seem like socially acceptable concepts, but the very nature of these concepts are usually the culprits to the eventual downfall and disorder to most ordinary people. Within these concepts are the real problems which include an individual’s perceived importance towards money. Even at a young age we get taught that without money, you will end up homeless with no food or family, at least that’s what I was taught. Money gives opportunities but also disorients an individual on their journey of obtaining money. It is often that we are deceived of the value which money holds, where true value lies within our relationships with friends and families.
A high school student’s ATAR which has become the ultimate goal of a high school student, but this has become a source of mental illnesses for many and disorientation in social lives for others. As an HSC student, there is minimal time wasted in social outings and part time jobs. I have to admit that I have significantly reduced the amount of time spend with friends and family and increased the amount spent revising, studying and cramming knowledge into my head so that I can get a good ATAR. But ultimately, we want a good ATAR for a good university course to set us up for working in the 9-5 job world: obviously for a good paying job. The limited options presented by the schooling system creates a dilemma for those who cannot excel academically, hence substantial amounts of social pressures to socially conform to this schooling system will be felt by the unfortunate few. These students will exert physical and mental degradation and will feel disoriented in the sense that the only option is to excel with a high ATAR.
In the technological advanced world where the monetary value of money has been digitised into credit, cryptocurrency and other forms of liquidity, it has been much more of a challenge to maintain healthy relations with friends and family. Forms of greed, envy and malicious intent have corroded the virtues of society in the sense that the illusion of money has driven individuals such as myself to restructure my priorities based around monetary gain. It is a universal issue where motivation stems from the illusion of money rather than our virtues of generosity, sanity and kindness. Gambling, 9-5 jobs, and entertainment, all of which play an important part of lives for the better and worse. Where does familial relations fit within the concept of money? It doesn’t. Mixing these two concepts usually creates drama and chaos within the household. For example, Elon Musk has been married 3 times and what’s common among the 3 marriages is that is has ended in a divorce. When there’s potential in making money, we do not hesitate to take up the offer, otherwise someone else will. Why is our society so inclined to the thought of being rich, when most of the time it ends in one person or another being socially rejected like in Elon Musk’s case? It creates chaos and victims, victims who experience trauma, mental stress and disorder on how to orient their lives based around the concept of monetary gain.
The core issue of being oriented around concepts which are deemed socially important is that the consequences of obtaining these meaningless fabrications of value outweigh the benefits of indulging in these fabrications. As a person who has participated in the death run reaching the end of the course only to feel disoriented, there are certain niches that have been helpful in dealing with these social illusions in general. I am still an HSC student but it’s more so about my mentality rather than changing my goals. There was a point during year 12 where I decided to cut all outside of school communication with my friends in order to focus on my studies. And within the household I would have limited myself to urgent and dinner talks only. I can tell you that my mental state was in complete disorder; I wouldn’t have showered in days, sleeping at 6am and waking up at 7am, and calling my brothers the wrong names. My mum has convinced me of an urgent chat and has made me realise my focus on the HSC has reframe my life around getting a good ATAR. What had changed after this chat is my reprioritisation of relations between me and my friends and family over a good HSC mark. Family cannot be replaced, a 6-figure job can. That was the difference between living a healthy life compared to a disorderly life.
In a capitalist society, the societal pressured placed on having a high paying job is also a threat to one’s mental state. As our society is structured around the concept of money, where food requires money, entertainment required money, overseas adventures require money. What doesn’t require money is relationships. We have seen in china where their society is a communist run government, and Finland where the medical support is substantial from the government as opposed to America’s capitalistic government. Majority of the COVID-19 deaths in America was due to lacking support financially by the government. Hence, it is natural to strive to earn money as it is one of the most socially demanding fabrications. It is up to the government to decide how much support and pressure will be placed on financial gain. In Finland, a country known for its highest wellbeing index (HDI index) is mainly due to the low financial pressured exerted on society. Meaning the illusion of money has a smaller effect on a society which does not demand money, hence leading to a more ordered individual and society as a whole.
Illusions such as ATAR marks and monetary fabrications of money govern out society. A student struggling to keep up with his cohort will have difficulties mentally. An adult in the occupational world with a lower paid job with struggle more financially and eventually, mentally. The government is usually the dictator of the amount of pressure a society feels when it comes to financial gain but ultimately is up to the individual to structure their mentality not around these illusion concepts but around relations between themselves, family and friends. What naturally follows is an orderly life, but those stuck in the illusions will feel the wrath of a life of disorder.
Tagging @MrMcAlpin because I've heard he can help 🙂